Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
