dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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