i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
