This girl is more easily done than said...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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