I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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