do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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