You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
