I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize