I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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