I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize