maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize