"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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