I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
