Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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