I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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