guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This house was built for laser tag.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
