it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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