I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
