I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
