If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
