i need an iv and a liver transplant
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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