I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
