U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize