it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
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Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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