Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
