i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just had sex bonerless
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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