I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
