People with herpes should wear stickers.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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