I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize