im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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