you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
