Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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