I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
