I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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