So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Randomize
