Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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