We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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