I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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