We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
