gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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