they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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