she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Too much gin, very little bucket
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$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
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Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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