Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
