I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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