well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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