That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
