i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
