It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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