it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
