He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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