Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize