yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
