I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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