Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
