I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
