yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
