Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You are a genius and a whore.
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