Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
