I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
