worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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