dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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