Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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