I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
