Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
