I want to stick my p in your. b.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
